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Divorce can be life-altering for the couples involved, and even worse when a little child is in the picture. Trying to explain the circumstances to your little one might feel like a gut punch, but the right approach will make the process a lot easier.

It is important to pay attention to what your kids might be feeling, and encourage them to be open and expressive of their emotions. Every divorce is different, and the way families handle this process is different too. However, these suggestions will ensure the process is less painful both for the couples involved and the kids.

1. Remind them that they are loved

When parents don’t move along so well, kids often assume they are to be blamed. Not only do these thoughts take a toll on their self-esteem, they feel unloved and terrible with themselves.

Although divorce isn't easy on you either, it is important to constantly reassure your kids that they are loved. Make them understand that they have nothing to do with what’s happening and that adults sometimes make mistakes, even hurt the people they love.

2. Encourage communication

You don’t need to allow your kids to bottle up their feelings. When you encourage your kids to express themselves, it gives them a sense of empowerment, thereby helping ease their frustration.

If your child is not outspoken or uncomfortable, encourage them to write about it. Let your kids know that it’s okay to voice their disappointment without lashing out in anger. 

3. Argue away from the kids

This is inarguably the hardest thing to do, but it is important to not say bad things about your ex in front of your kids, or to their hearing. You might not know this, but kids are pretty smart to pick up on those things.

If there is a situation where your spouse moved away from home, never try to sugarcoat the situation. Acknowledge what has happened, as it isn’t your responsibility to explain your ex’s behavior. If your kids do ask a question, answer as objective and neutral as possible.

4. Focus on your kid’s life, not yours

It is easy to get lost in your head while trying to navigate through the divorce. However, it is important to pay more attention to your kid’s life. You don’t need to slip into a long explanation of what happened. Spare them the gory details, instead make them understand that sometimes, adults don’t want to live together anymore.

5. Break the news as a couple

When both parents break the news to their kids, this unity helps to show your love and support. Don’t keep the situation a secret, or wait till the last minute to break the ice. If you and your ex can calmly talk to your kids about the situation, it goes a long way to help them deal with the situation a lot better.

Whatever happens, note that working hand in hand with an experienced and licensed divorce attorney will play in your best interest. Feel free to give us a call, or perhaps fill the contact form.

 

Divorcing couples often wonder if they can hire one attorney, to save cost, you know… Many a time, it is merely one of the parties trying to be sneaky.

If your spouse advised using one attorney, it should trigger your spidey senses. The reason is this - they could be trying to acquire an undue advantage.

An attorney cannot serve the best interest of two opposing parties, hence the need to have a lawyer who protects your best interest.

Your one and only!

A lot goes into divorce, and it's rarely impossible to agree on everything.

Like:

Dividing the marital assets, child support, parental visitation, rights and duties of parents, and end of a marriage.

Your Ex’s Attorney Doesn’t Represent You

If your partner made you believe that one attorney is enough, probably to save legal fees, you shouldn't take it.

If your spouse persists, there could be an interior motive that you must watch out for. At the end of the day, your spouse’s attorney will seek for the best interest of your spouse, not you.

Divorcing With Neutrality

The fact is you cannot go into the courtroom with two parties sharing one attorney. In a situation where you don’t want to rely on the court to settle your differences, you can use mediation to come up with a divorce agreement that favors both parties.

During mediation, you can hire one attorney who doesn't represent either you or your spouse. Your family lawyer is the one to oversee the mediation while acting as a neutral party to help the couples come to a mutually beneficial conclusion.

The Responsibility of an Attorney-mediator

When it comes to meditation, your family lawyer is in charge of ensuring that all paperwork is complete and accurate. Also, your mediator will check the finances of both parties for full disclosure, easing tension and also drafting the final divorce settlement agreements. Other functions could surface, such as discussing the bone of contention of both parties.

It is worth noting that the attorney-mediator is working as a neutral party, and not technically for either spouse. However, in a case whereby both parties failed to agree to the mediation process, you will need an attorney different from your spouses.

If you're currently in this situation, you need an expert attorney who understands the legal system. Through our guidance and counsel, you will be able to take the right action that protects your interest. Feel free to give us a call 718-815-4500, or perhaps fill our contact form.

Times have changed when it seems as if fathers don’t have rights to their children. It is often presumed that the child is better off with the mother, while the father pays child support, and is told when to visit.

However, more and more fathers are stepping up, recognizing their rights, and fighting for them. A study by the Journey of Marriage and Family discovered that more and more fathers are getting more involved in the life of their children.

From making a significant contribution to providing essential benefits that aid the development of the child. It has led to massive changes in the law, especially in New York.

1. It is necessary

Although this is glaring since more and more people are giving birth out of wedlock. Some are often unplanned, but that doesn’t dispute the right both parents have over the child.

The reason paternity rights are very crucial in the development of a child cannot be overemphasized. For instance, establishing child support, providing health insurance for the child, determining decision-making authority, and most of all, parenting time often lies on the father.

2. Why assert paternity right

There are numerous cases where another man might insist he's the father of your child. Other times, it could be because you’re unmarried, and unmarried men are not legally recognized in the face of the law.

There are also cases of paternity fraud, where the mother deceives a man into believing he’s the father of the child. These are cases where paternity rights are to be established, especially after a DNA test has been conducted to ascertain the truth.

3. What you need to know

Take note that you have until four years before your child reaches 18 to file for a paternity action. If you’re unmarried, your name appearing on the birth certificate of your child is not enough. You will need to file a petition to establish paternity with the court to be recognized as the father of the child.

4. Establishing your right as the father

Both you and your spouse can sign an Acknowledgment of Paternity form. That is where both parties are on oath that the supposed father is, indeed, the father of the child.

In the absence of Acknowledge of Paternity, where both parties don’t agree on paternity, you have the right to file for a court order to establish paternity.

Working with an experienced attorney

When it comes to establishing paternity rights, it can be a cumbersome process. The best line of action is to hire a licensed and experienced family attorney to guide you every step of the process.

When you have access to sound and expert guidance, you stand a better chance of coming out with the desired result. Feel free to give us a call (718) 815-4500, or perhaps fill the contact form. Let's begin.

Divorce is naturally complicated when a child or children are involved, particularly when it comes to child support. Most parents maintain touch with their children after divorce by creating a 50/50 parenting schedule.

With such a plan, both parents ensure that they have the most possible impact on their children's life, notwithstanding their divorce. And, given that 39 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce, having a timetable is an unavoidable option.

However, to begin this cooperative plan, parents need to evaluate their child's needs.

When Does a 50/50 Parenting Schedule Work Best?

There is no doubt about the benefits of 50/50 parenting, but the crucial question is: under what situations is it appropriate? Parents who fail to adhere to the appropriate timing may subject their children to psychological consequences.

As a result, divorced couples should work together to create a conducive environment for amicable settlement. The following are the scenarios that necessitate such a schedule:

This timetable will produce excellent results when both parents are in accord and can talk to each other in a friendly manner without disagreeing.

It's not a good idea for parents who live far apart to create this arrangement. Because communication will be difficult and the youngster will be under mobility stress.

The majority of stress is borne by the child, thus parents should be aware of their sentiments as well. A one-on-one talk is the best way to do this.

Another crucial component in determining the success of the 50/50 parent scheduling is the level of agreement among the parents involved. There will undoubtedly be a conflict if the child's parents' desires conflict. On the other hand, if they are willing and able to agree, this arrangement will work.

50/50 Parenting Schedule Types

The 50/50 parenting schedule approach has various variations, depending on the availability of both parents and children. The many types are as follows:

    1. 3-4-4-3 schedule Type

The child spends three days out of seven with one parent and the rest of the time with the other.

The following week, switch shifts and spend four days with the first.

Then finish the last three days with your other parents.

     2.  2-2-3 schedule type

The youngster spends two days with one parent and then three days with the other parent.

     3. 2-2-5-5 schedule type

In this plan, the child spends equal amounts of time with both parents, ranging from two to five days.

Divorced parents who follow this parenting schedule pattern are more likely to provide their children with the fundamental support they require. It provides a win-win situation for all parties by allowing each parent to obtain their fair share of the child's attention.

Choosing a schedule, however, does not guarantee that it will be followed by all parties involved. To properly establish your schedule, you need to hire an experienced divorce lawyer. Give us a call 718-815-4500 or fill out the form below to get started.

Just concluded a divorce? The feeling and emotional trauma that comes with a divorce may be pretty difficult to handle. But there's a much more challenging task ahead, “becoming a single parent!”

Having a kid or kids during a marriage means you get a fair share of parenting time in the event of a divorce, depending on the divorce agreement.

Nevertheless, transitioning to single parenthood can be a hurdle altogether. However, you may find that it could also be an intriguing venture down the line.

This article aims to show you how to make the most of parenting time after a divorce.

    1. Try as much to be consistent.

Whether it is playtime with your kids, doing homework, eating meals, or any regular activity, a basic rule of thumb is to ensure consistency. Kids thrive better if they know exactly when certain things will happen in their lives. It keeps the whole process fascinating.

    2. Be understanding

After a divorce, chances are you may have to handle activities with your kids which were never your role while with your now-ex-spouse.

Be understanding, and know that your kids may require more time adjusting to the shared life with their parents

    3. Listen

Good parenting requires active communication with your kids but, more specifically, listening!

Always give listening ears to your kids whenever you can. It makes them feel they can always confide in you.

    4. Ensure every time spent with your kids are worth it

After divorce, you may find that most kids have a difficult time adjusting to their new reality. That is understandable. As such, helping your kids adjust to this new phase of life would go a long way in ensuring proper upbringing.

One good way to do this is to spend quality time with your kids whenever you get the chance. This doesn't have to be lengthy trips to the most luxurious places or giving them the most expensive toys.

A quality time with your kids doing what you both love to do is a more effective way to make the most out of your parenting time.

Dealing with being a single parent after a divorce can be a daunting task. However, meeting the needs of your kids will ensure you make the most of your parenting time.

Hire a professional divorce attorney

To ensure your kids get the best parenting they deserve, it will be best to hire a professional divorce attorney for expert guidance.

Feel free to call us 718-815-4500 or fill out our contact form to gain access to our plethora of attorneys ready to provide good counseling and represent you throughout the legal processes.

Seeing eye to eye with your ex can be quite challenging, and the holiday might be tougher without the right tips up your sleeve. However, co-parenting shouldn't be a hurdle when you understand not only how to co-parent, but coexist with your ex.

Jokes aside, it is never an easy route, but treating this newfound relationship as a partnership business that involves the well-being of your kids is the best mindset.

Here are a few tips that you can use to have the most fun holiday with your spouse, even though you still resent your ex for what happened in the past.

Talking to your children about the holiday

When it comes to how and who spends time with the kids during the holiday, you need to talk to your children. As long as your kids are old enough to understand, seeking their opinion will ensure you protect their interests and well-being.

Some children might want to stay with one of their parents, probably because it's closer to their friends. Perhaps they might want to have a split time or indulge in a specific activity during the holiday.

Seeking the opinion of your children will help them gain an understanding of the negotiation process and expectations. 

Prepare with your ex ahead of time

To have one of the most incredible holidays with your kids and ex, you might want to ensure that you’re in alignment with everything that will be done. You need to plan ahead of time, and that could entail how much time one has with the kids.

If you’re still on good terms with your ex, that will make co-parenting easier. If reverse becomes the case, putting your differences aside for the benefit of the kids will aid in a smooth relationship.

Split time equally

It may look different for every family, but it is best if both parents have equal holiday experience with their children. However, some factors could make this impossible such as your ex living in another state.

In this situation, the best course of action is to alternate the years and iron out the difference with other holidays.

Get Support

Co-parenting is never a bed of roses, and there is a need to seek support for a successful holiday. Your kids are the center of attention, and your decisions and actions should be in their best interest. 

If you still couldn't find a way to work with your ex regarding holidays with your kids, perhaps working with a good family attorney will be best. Our attorneys are the best, with years of experience working in divorced couples. If you’re having issues co-parenting during the holiday, give us a call or fill the contact form to get started.

After a divorce, parents often want to maintain an equal and ongoing relationship with their child. Making this arrangement work requires you and your former spouse to make your homes and interactions positive. Sticking to three main points can help you make a 50/50 parenting schedule work.

Make Both Homes Your Child’s Home

No matter where you both live, you should each make your child feel comfortable and safe in your home. Your spouse’s home may be larger or smaller than yours, but that does not mean your child can’t have their own space.

Give your child an area where they can relax, study, and be creative, if possible. You can involve them in the process of choosing paint colors and bedding. If possible, allow them to infuse even more of their personality in that space with wall hangings, curtains, and pillows they chose. They should have items that make them feel like that space belongs to them.

Establish Consistent Rules

You and your ex-partner may parent your child differently. Where one parent is strict about doing homework right after school, another may allow the child some playtime first.

Communicate with your former spouse and your child about the rules in each parent’s house. If these rules differ, talk about how you each want to address that with your child. Make it clear that what works in one parent’s home may not be acceptable behavior in the other.

Communicate Effectively

Whether it’s about rules, schedules, or other activities, you must communicate clearly with your former spouse and your child. Establishing a plan early means fewer problems later, whether with pick-up and drop-off days at school or important appointments.

Older children can take more ownership of their schedules but may still need oversight from the parents. However, with young children especially, communication will help you establish a more comfortable new routine.

Do You Need Help with 50/50 Parenting?

If you want to know more about how 50/50 parenting can work for your family, the Staten Island divorce lawyers at Soren Law Group have the expertise you need. We’ve helped many families adjust to a new life after divorce. We can help yours, too. Call us at 718-815-4500 or contact us online for a consultation.

When you’re going through a divorce or separation involving children, one of the hardest parts is deciding how you and your former partner will parent going forward.

If the two of you have an amicable relationship, co-parenting may work to both your benefit and your children’s. But where should you start?

What is Co-Parenting?

Many parents who divorce or separate want to have an equal part in raising their children. When you decide to co-parent your children, you choose to have equal responsibility and participation in significant decisions regarding the children.

Major decisions can include:

When you choose to co-parent, both you and your former partner should be involved in these decisions and others that will significantly affect your children’s lives.

How Can You Co-Parent Successfully?

The most successful co-parenting strategy involves making a plan. Without set guidelines and agreed-upon rules, co-parenting can fall apart quickly. What should you include in your co-parenting plan?

Create a Schedule

A schedule means both parents know where the children are at what time. It also helps avoid misunderstandings regarding who gets to spend time with the children and when.

Stick to Consistent Rules

Create rules for the whole family. Children should understand when they spend time with each parent and any other guidelines for that time.

Maintain a Positive Environment

Divorce is a stressful time for children. Avoid talking negatively about your former partner when your children are present. Give them time to process the new events in their lives and let them know you are there to answer questions.

Communicate

Communication is one of the most basic and essential parts of your plan. Communicate with your co-parent and with your children, so everyone understands the rules and feels respected in these new circumstances.

Soren Law Group Can Help

Co-parenting can be challenging, which is why Soren Law Group, PLLC offers mediation services to help make the divorce or separation process less stressful.

Call our Staten Island Law office at 718-815-4500 or contact us online to request a consultation.

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