Understanding Your Rights as Unmarried Parents
As more children are born to unmarried parents, understanding how the law treats paternity, custody, and parental rights has never been more important. Whether you’re a mother or father, knowing your legal rights—and your responsibilities—is key to protecting your child’s well-being and your relationship with them.
Unmarried parents do have rights, but the legal process for securing those rights differs from that of married couples. For fathers especially, the first legal step is establishing paternity. From there, matters like custody, visitation, and support can be addressed.
Important Note: Family law varies significantly from state to state. Always consult with a qualified local family law attorney for personalized legal advice.
Establishing Paternity: The Crucial First Step for Unmarried Fathers
Why Paternity Matters
Unmarried fathers don’t have automatic legal rights to custody or visitation. Even if you know you’re the child’s biological father, you must establish legal paternity to have any enforceable parental rights or responsibilities.
Biological vs. Legal Fatherhood
Being the biological father (the child’s genetic parent) is not the same as being the legal father. Legal fatherhood gives you the right to seek custody, participate in decision-making, and be involved in your child’s life—and it comes with legal responsibilities like child support.
Ways to Establish Paternity
1. Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity (VAP)
- Can be signed at the hospital at birth or later through a government office.
- Once signed and filed, it establishes the man as the legal father.
- Signing a VAP waives the right to genetic testing and may be difficult to undo later. Make sure you’re certain before signing.
- Rescinding a VAP is possible in some states but often only for a short time.
2. Court-Ordered Paternity / Order of Filiation
- If paternity is disputed, either parent can file a paternity petition.
- The court may order DNA testing, usually requiring a match of 99% or higher.
- Once confirmed, the court issues a legal order of paternity, allowing the father to pursue custody and visitation.
- Temporary child support may be ordered during this process.
State Paternity Registries
Some states offer paternity registries for alleged fathers to preserve their rights, especially in adoption cases. Registering can ensure you’re notified before an adoption proceeds.
Parental Rights for Unmarried Parents
Unmarried Mothers
In many states, unmarried mothers are automatically granted sole custody at birth unless and until paternity is legally established for the father. They typically have full decision-making authority unless the court decides otherwise.
Unmarried Fathers
Once paternity is established, unmarried fathers gain the right to:
- Seek custody or visitation.
- Participate in decisions about education, healthcare, and religion.
- Access medical and school records (sometimes only after a court order).
- Be notified of adoption proceedings.
- Share in the responsibility of financially supporting the child.
Understanding Custody and Placement
Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody
- Legal Custody: The right to make major life decisions (schooling, healthcare, religion).
- Physical Custody (Placement): Where the child primarily lives and day-to-day care.
Types of Custody Arrangements
- Joint Custody: Shared legal and/or physical custody. Preferred in many cases unless safety concerns exist.
- Sole Custody: One parent has all or most decision-making or physical custody.
- Joint Legal Custody with Impasse Authority: One parent can make final decisions if parents disagree.
Obtaining a Court Order for Custody and Visitation
Even after establishing paternity, a court order is required for custody or visitation to be legally enforceable. Without it, law enforcement may not assist in disputes.
Steps to Take:
- File a custody/visitation petition with family court.
- Attend hearings and possibly mediation.
- Obtain temporary or permanent court orders.
Act quickly if the other parent threatens to withhold the child. Courts can issue emergency orders to preserve parental rights.
Factors Courts Consider in Custody Decisions (Best Interest of the Child)
The court’s primary focus is always the best interest of the child. Common considerations include:
- Each parent’s strengths and weaknesses.
- Physical and mental health of the parents.
- Parental availability and work schedules.
- History of caregiving and home stability.
- Ability to co-parent or communicate respectfully.
- Past domestic violence or substance abuse.
- The child’s preference (if mature enough).
- Financial resources of both parents.
- Educational and extracurricular involvement.
Demonstrating a stable home, ongoing involvement, and willingness to co-parent strengthens your case.
Parenting Plans and Custody Agreements
Parents can create a parenting plan that outlines:
- Physical and legal custody arrangements.
- Weekly schedules and holidays.
- Decision-making authority (joint or sole).
- Communication and transportation rules.
These agreements must be approved by the court to be legally binding. Mediation is often encouraged to help parents reach fair, cooperative arrangements.
Visitation/Parenting Time Rights
Even if one parent has primary custody, the other typically has the right to parenting time.
Common Arrangements Include:
- Every other weekend and one midweek overnight.
- Alternating holidays.
- Extended time during summer or school breaks.
Supervised visitation may be ordered if there are concerns about safety. If the custodial parent denies access, the non-custodial parent should seek legal enforcement—not take matters into their own hands.
Child Support Obligations for Unmarried Parents
Both parents have a financial obligation to support their child—regardless of marital status.
- Child support is calculated based on income, parenting time, and the child’s needs.
- 50/50 custody may still involve payments if one parent earns significantly more.
- Support can be retroactive to the child’s birth, including birth-related costs.
- Failing to pay child support can lead to wage garnishment, license suspension, or jail time.
- Child support is not dischargeable in bankruptcy.
- Support orders can be modified if circumstances (like income or job loss) change significantly.
Important Considerations and Potential Challenges
- Act quickly if there is no court order—your rights may be limited.
- If a parent threatens to take the child away, consult an attorney immediately. Courts rarely terminate rights without extreme circumstances.
- Modifying custody or support requires showing a substantial change in circumstances.
- Paternity fraud can occur—DNA testing ensures certainty. Rescinding a signed VAP is difficult and time-sensitive.
- Interstate custody issues may arise if parents live in different states. Jurisdiction depends on the child’s “home state” under the UCCJEA.
- Being unemployed doesn’t disqualify a parent from custody—courts look at the full picture.
The Importance of Seeking Legal Advice
Family law is complex—and it’s different in every state. An experienced family law attorney can:
- Help you establish paternity.
- Guide you through custody and support petitions.
- Represent you in negotiations or court.
- Ensure your rights are protected every step of the way.
Don’t try to navigate this alone.
Resources for Unmarried Parents
Depending on your location, helpful resources may include:
- State family court self-help centers.
- Local legal aid organizations.
- Paternity registries.
- National organizations like the National Fatherhood Initiative, Legal Services Corporation, and your state bar association.
Conclusion: Protecting Your Rights and Your Child’s Best Interests
If you’re an unmarried parent, don’t wait to understand your legal rights. For fathers, establishing paternity is the first critical step—but it’s just the beginning. To enforce custody, visitation, or support, you’ll need court orders that prioritize your child’s best interests.
Seeking qualified legal guidance is the smartest way to protect your relationship with your child and build a future where both parents are involved, respected, and supported.
Staten Island Paternity Law Attorney – Soren Law Group
At Soren Law Group, we understand how complex and emotional paternity and custody cases can be—especially for unmarried parents. If you’re a father seeking legal rights or a mother needing guidance through family court, our experienced team is here to help. From establishing paternity to securing fair custody, visitation, and child support orders, we fight to protect your rights and your child’s best interests every step of the way.
Located right here in Staten Island, we know the local court system and how to navigate every stage of your paternity case. Don’t wait to take action—without a court order, your parental rights could be limited. Let us help you build a secure future for your family.
Call Soren Law Group today at (718) 815-4500 to schedule your consultation. Your child’s future—and your role in it—matters. Let’s protect it together.
Frequently Asked Questions About Paternity Law and Parental Rights for Unmarried Parents
Can I add my name to the birth certificate later if I wasn’t present at the hospital?
Yes, if you weren’t at the hospital when your child was born and your name wasn’t added to the birth certificate at that time, you can still establish paternity later. This typically involves signing a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity (VAP) form through a local child support office or family court. However, simply being on the birth certificate may not automatically grant you custody or visitation rights. To have enforceable parental rights, you’ll likely need to also file a petition with the court for custody and/or visitation.
2. What if the mother doesn’t want to establish paternity or refuses to cooperate?
If the mother refuses to sign a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity or denies your role as the father, you still have legal options. You can file a petition with the family court to establish paternity. The court may order genetic testing, and if the test confirms a biological connection (usually with at least 99% certainty), the court can issue an order of paternity. This order gives you legal standing to pursue custody, visitation, or other parental rights—even without the mother’s cooperation.
Can I stop paying child support if I’m being denied visitation?
No. Child support and visitation are legally treated as separate issues. If you are being denied court-ordered parenting time, you should file a motion to enforce visitation through the court. However, you are still legally required to pay child support as ordered. Failing to pay can result in serious consequences such as wage garnishment, license suspension, or even jail time. The best course of action is to address custody or visitation violations legally, not by withholding financial support.
Do I have to go to court if we both agree on custody and visitation?
If both parents agree on a parenting arrangement, you may still need to go to court to have your agreement formally recognized and approved. Without a court order, the agreement isn’t legally enforceable, meaning either parent could violate the terms without legal consequences. Courts typically encourage cooperative parenting plans and will usually approve fair, mutual agreements. Getting your arrangement legally documented protects everyone involved—including the child.
Can I get joint custody if I live in a different state than my child?
Yes, but there are additional considerations. If you live in a different state than your child, the court will evaluate whether joint custody is practical and in the child’s best interests. Factors such as travel distance, communication ability, school schedules, and your willingness to accommodate the parenting plan will be considered. Courts generally prefer to maintain consistent routines for the child, so parenting time may be structured differently (e.g., school breaks, summers, virtual visits) in long-distance custody cases.
Can a father get full custody if the mother is unfit, even if they were never married?
Yes. The court doesn’t base custody decisions on marital status but rather on the best interests of the child. If you can show that the mother is unfit—due to factors like substance abuse, neglect, mental instability, or a history of abuse—you can petition for sole custody. The burden is on you to provide credible evidence. Courts may also appoint a guardian ad litem or conduct home evaluations to assess the situation before issuing a final decision.
What happens if the child’s mother wants to move out of state with the child?
If there is no court order in place, she may be able to move without legal consequences—highlighting the importance of establishing both paternity and a formal custody order. If there is a custody order, she generally needs the court’s permission to relocate with the child, especially if it affects your visitation rights. You can contest the move by filing an objection, and the court will weigh whether the relocation serves the child’s best interests. Judges will look at factors such as the reason for the move, its impact on the child’s relationship with both parents, and whether alternative visitation can be arranged.
Read Fathers’ Rights in Staten Island: Why Hiring a Paternity Law Attorney Could Change Everything
