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4 Problems You'll Encounter When Divorcing A Narcissist

Divorce is a horrendous process, and when it involves a narcissist, your only way out is to be ten steps ahead, or you get devoured. As Jonathan Franzen wrote, "nice people don’t always fall in love with nice people." If you’re married to a narcissist, your life will only be downhill unless you pull out.

Although we all have narcissistic traits that surface from time to time, a full-blown narcissist, on the other hand, is a ticking bomb that will destroy you. Being married to one is like living in hell. If you’re going to divorce a ticking bomb, you’ll need a crash helmet if you must survive.

In that case, here are five problems you’ll encounter when divorcing a narcissist and what to do about it:

  1. Self Projection

Projection is a self-defense mechanism that narcissists use to project their flaws, faults, and insecurities onto others. For instance, a narcissist might be a pathological liar, and when it causes issues, they immediately accuse you of lying.

Since narcissists love the appearance of being perfect, expect them to blame all the ills on you. Do not take it personally cause your narcissist lacks the self-awareness needed to take accountability.

  1. Rigid Mindset

Your narcissist probably has a rigid worldview where anyone with a different opinion or view is considered stupid, crazy and even evil. This trait makes the divorce process pretty slow since they have a hard time seeing alternatives and are unwilling to compromise.

For your sake, don’t bother trying to reason with someone who’s incapable of being open to the view of others. Before you serve the papers, mentally prepare yourself for a difficult divorce, and untangle yourself emotionally from the narcissist.

  1. Turn the kids against you

To the narcissist, they are perfect in every way, and they see the kids as an extension of themselves. Thus, they expect the kids to hate you as much as they do by bad-mouthing you in front of them.

You can use this to your advantage by making sure you secretly record such absurd behavior. Co-parenting with a narcissist is a nightmare and you can protect yourself and your kids by ensuring you get full custody.

  1. Seeing themselves as the victim

Even if your narcissist initiated the divorce, they are most likely to paint themselves as the star victim of the world’s most important drama. In their mind, they are innocent victims while you’re the devil.

The best way to deal with such a dramatic individual is to treat them like you would a child throwing a tantrum. If you can’t deal, walk away without engaging. You don’t even need to talk to them when you have a competent divorce attorney.

That’s what we have been doing for the past decades, and we can help you disengage from your narcissist so you can move on with your life. Go ahead and give us a call, or better yet, fill out our contact form to book an appointment.

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